Wrong Direction

Trail flooded in Alaska

This song is dedicated to my Mom.

Headed in the wrong
Headed in the wrong direction
And it won’t be long
Waiting around in summer
It’ll soon be fall
Waiting around for summer
Endlessly

Direct anger and frustration
On misleading information
A regrettable hesitation
But it’s pure occupational
Don’t get confrontational
With them or me

Where did all the summers go?
We lost them all
Trapped inside a chair
She bears an endless fall
Waiting around for summer
That won’t come at all

Wake me up I’m leaving
Wake me up
I’m leaving and I want to go home

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From a Town to a Community

Lake Wampum

“There is no power for change greater than a community discovering what it cares about.”

– Margaret J. Wheatley

Settling Down

For over a decade I have been a bit of a transient. At the end of my first major life chapter I was a divorced Dad sleeping on couches and traveling down to Maryland (or vice-versa depending on the day/month/year). When  I wrote Reflections on Being Single I had just moved into an apartment in Bradley Beach, NJ. I slept on a floor mattress in Elkton, Maryland, and kept clothes in my car. Suddenly I went from seeing my then 5 year old daughter every day, to seeing her three nights a week and every other weekend. 12 years later I find myself married again, my daughter is now driving, and soon I will be changing diapers for a second time. Life has been good, exciting, and fulfilling. Yet living a life of moving every few years (I lost count over 10) the one thing I have missed is a community to call my own. Not just a place to live, but a place to settle down and grow roots. A place where you clean up a park together (as I type this it is Earth Day and I am headed to do just that), join a local theater company, know a local shop owner by name and care about their futures, and work to make yourself and your town a little bit better than it was the day before.

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Greta

I was singing the word Greta in a dream. When I woke up I wrote this down.

Greta never met a girl that made her feel better
So she packed up a bag
Grabbed her favorite sweater
It was a long necked, over head, comfy like you’re in bed, fluffy yellow sweater that always made her feel better
So she looked up a Lyft for a ride to the center
Where her friend worked downtown helping folks who’ve been down
That’s the kind of girl that Greta thought could change the world
But the world better share ’cause her heart couldn’t bear the rejection, left in agony and deception
That’s the kind of girl that Greta thought could join her world
‘Cause the world’s turned scary, isolated and barely holding on to principles that rarely are challenged by the masses, but the masses aren’t fairly represented so we’re starting to unravel like her sweater with the long neck, over head, comfy like she’s in bed, fluffy yellow sweater that used to make her feel better

Never let you down

Almost fell to my death off an icy cliff, proposed, and wrote this song but not in that order.

We might be living in a world of madness
But I’m feeling fine
(You) might think about the anger and the sadness of a culture online
Change is happenin’ and it starts in our hearts
But you ought to know by now

(It) takes a special kind of person
To see the real me
Been working on myself for so long now
Preparing to be
The kind of love that loves deeper
One that’s care and it’s free
But you ought to know by now

I’m never gonna let you down
Never gonna let you down
No I’m never gonna let you down
Never gonna let you down
I promise to make you happy
Even when the ups are downs
But you ought to know by now

Continue reading “Never let you down”

Not dead yet

I wrote this after contemplating giving up on songwriting.

Maybe I should just stop singing
Writing songs for me to hear
Maybe I could stop pretending
Maybe if I wait one more year
Maybe I should just admit that
Dreams are meant for when you sleep
Maybe I’m supposed to sit here
In a car glanced up at the rearview mirror of me

Maybe I should stop fooling
myself with lofty goals
Maybe all those thoughts of grandeur
Maybe I’m just self-assured
Maybe I watched too many movies
where the hero saves the day
Maybe I’m not meant for something
considering all I’ve done is nothing
judged by a jury of me

I’m not getting any younger
At least that’s what they say
I’m so lucky to have what I have every day
But this feeling inside me just won’t go away
This hunger that drives me, inspires, and rides me

Continue reading “Not dead yet”

Smothers me with her love

About a lady I eventually married.

When I wake up in the morning light
Her eyes twinkling and smiling bright
Crouched over me like a cat
Waiting to pounce on me

Morning kisses and morning hugs
There’s no escaping this kind of love
Don’t try to struggle or to wiggle out
She’ll hold tight to you

She’ll keep you prisoner with her laugh
Heart filling up like a warm bath
Eyes may roll and heads may shake
But all these things you’ll appreciate

She’s strong and weak and incomplete
And completely recognizes me
I’m strong and weak and incomplete
And together we’ll find harmony

Privacy’s escaping me
But love will bind our sanity

Cause she smothers me
Smothers me with her love
She smothers me
Smothers me with her love
She smothers me
Smothers me with her love
Yea she smothers me
Smothers me with her love
Yes she does

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Being fake is a now a full-time job

socialmedialife

I have something to admit to you. I am tired.

I am extremely tired.

Yes. I admit that I drive from New Jersey to Maryland twice a week amounting to 12 hours in a car per week. I also get up at 5am to do this and get home generally around 930pm to then eat, do more work if needed or try and relax, and then do it again. I do this for my career, and yes it makes me tired enough to fall asleep for four hours on a Saturday afternoon after sleeping ten hours that night. But that isn’t why I am tired, or at least it isn’t why I am writing this post. I am so very extremely tired of the nonstop fire hose of bullsnozzle that is being spewed on a daily basis, from what seems like every human being on the planet twenty-four hours a day for the sole purpose of egocentric grandstanding. And I know. We get it. People are narcissistic on social media. What is he going to tell us next, “that a lack of sleep makes you tired?” No. I mean well yes a lack of sleep makes you tired. I am living proof of that, and I am sure I am slowly taking years off my life, but we already talked about that. I am not just ranting about the “people are ego maniacs on social media” thing. I get it. That is old hat as they say (in the early part of the twentieth century).

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Selfless Love and Taxes

I have a lot of opinions. They change of course over time. Sometimes they change due to conversations. Sometimes they change by experiences. Sometimes they change inside me and I am not really sure why they change at all. I just know they change, and that’s part of growing, and that’s what I think wisdom feels like when you suspect you’ve gained some.

I’ve never really attempted to write about love. I’ve written songs, letters to others, or tend to find myself in conversations where I express these ever changing opinions about it, but every time I want to sit down and attempt to capture any of my thoughts on the matter, I come up with some distraction to delay the inevitable another few months (I started this post three years before publishing it so months is a bit of a misnomer). Yet to be honest I think about people, and connections, and relationships, and that allusive four letter word a lot. I’m fascinated with the mystery of it all, and I think I’m in good company based on thousands of years of art, music, movies, books, and so on. Continue reading “Selfless Love and Taxes”

How a bunch of business cards taught me all I needed to know about work

the-muppets-take-manhattan

Polished shoes. Sharp freshly pressed suit. A whistle on my lips and a spring in my step. I remember the first time I went into New York City for an interview out of college. Head in the clouds and ready to change the world. Now I would love to say over 15 years later that fateful day changed everything, but then I would be lying. In reality I went on a handful of interviews in the city that never sleeps, and in the end I ended up working at a real estate company in Morris Plains, NJ,  because as a sales associate my Mom was able to get me an interview. Equipped with a Bachelor of Science in Economics, a Bachelor of Arts in Music, and a minor in Mathematics, I began my professional career as a Project Coordinator for a real estate recruiting department, which was a made up title for the new guy who did whatever my boss asked of me (my boss incidentally had just started in his new job in this recently created department a week before).

My first project is one that I will never forget and laid the foundation for the advice I would give to anyone starting out in the business world. Monday morning my boss came into my office, which was comprised of four cubical like work areas, and dropped a bag on my desk.  This was it! The big show. The moment I had been waiting four years for was finally here! All of the classes. All of the studying and papers. All of the thought provoking debates till 3 a.m. with roommates (also 2 a.m. runs to Dorians for their mouth watering Hot Turkey and Bacon toasted sub). In this bag was the start of my rise to the top! Business books about my life will contain this bag and the unknown contents within it. Was it the financial records of my company and I was going to be asked to cut 30% of the budget? Was it a new proposed merger and I needed to analyze whether or not to go through with it (I may have watched The Secret of My Success a little too much as a teenager)?

No. It was none of those things.

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Wanderlust Life

aurora borealis
This is a song I wrote for a friend who introduced me to true adventures.

Some people wander to find themselves
Some people wander for truth
Some people wander cause they can’t look back
A wanderlust life they choose

Some people wander to erase the past
Some people wander with nothing to lose
Some people wander to open their eyes
A wanderlust life they choose

Some wander the oceans on ships with the wind
Some wander the deserts, forests, and mountains
Some wander to wander cause they know where they’ve been
A wanderlust life they choose

Some hike the AT or the Pacific crest trail
Some conquer the rockies fourteeners
Some bathe in hot springs or see the aurora borealis
A wanderlust life they choose

No destination too barren
No location too far
Adventures in life are worth having
If I could wander with you for awhile

It’s a wanderlust life
Wanderlust life
Wanderlust life we choose
It’s a wanderlust life
Wanderlust life
Wanderlust life we choose
Continue reading “Wanderlust Life”